Time for CANCER UPDATE with yours truly

Get ready fo some 'INFOMATION!'

First off Whats up with this tumor eh?

Well it was : average sized 2.1cm invasive ductal cancer
 95%  estrogen Receptor
 95% Progesterone Receptor
but NO HER-2 Receptor. (Thats a good thing)

Grade: 1 slow growing (good thing)

 NO  Lymphovascular invasion(tumor cells seen in the vessels of the tumour) (thats also a good thing)

Margins (was all the caner removed) : Clear ( again good thing)

DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma in Situ)- "pre-invasive cancer" - yes , sample had lobular carcinoma in situ
( not great but thats one of the reasons we're doing chemo so that the little fuckers wont turn into cancer!)

Secondly what are we now going to do? also known as BRING ON THE NEEDLES

 yeah so they are starting me on my chemo regime either next week (Sept 24th-29th) or the following week (Oct 1st-6th) depending on when I get over this damned cold and all the other usual administrative stuff.

I have a Chemo Teaching class first ...which I assume means they are going to teach me not me teaching someone else ;)

My chemo will be in 6 doeses given once every 3 weeks, so aprox 18 weeks of Chemo

The first 3 are FEC (See more about FEC here)  this Chemo is given over 90 mins

this is where the vast majority of the side effect will be seen

The Last 3 Cycles of Chemo are given with one chemotherapy called Taxotere (see more on Taxotere here)

There is also an injection given (Neulasta/Neupogen) after these treatments to boost white blood cells

SO MUCH FUN, you can read through the links for the side effects , but I am suppose to be picking out my wig. I have stopped working at this point because HEY it's cold and flu season and working in retail is only slightly less infectious that working in education or health! Even though I am a BAD ASS I cant really risk being defeated by the freakin germs.

Yeah I hang with Daryl Dixon... I mean Norman Reedus Hey I've even held a cross bow!

After I finish with the chemo I am assuming I will get a small rest before they do the 2nd surgery to remove the rest of my Lymph nodes from my right arm.  This is the best treatment but I am far from thrilled with having to do this. It can cause Lymphedema ... only 10% chance.... but anyway a fear is a fear is a fear, and for a right handed artist... yeah it's a fear.

After some time to recover from the surgery they will start Radiation treatments which is usually 4-5 weeks.

They also want me to go for genetic testing.

yeah so really.... 6 months to a year of treatment all in all

Start knitting me cool hats People ...how can I be a bald bass ass without a cool hat! well that... and it gets fucking cold here in winter.



Today I am walking around my house picking things up and putting them down.

Today I am crying

Today I have not slept, I cannot eat

Today is not about my cancer

Today is about the cancer of someone I love

Today is about the fucking cancer that is killing someone I love

Today is making a folder of all the pictures I have of the person I love

so that their unborn child will somehow know a little of them

Today is what do I do with all this?

Today is how do I get to the next moment?

Today is I'll live and you'll die... and neither of us did anything to deserve this... and how do I keep moving forward

Today is breathing in and breathing out